Don’t get me wrong. I love dogs. My family loves dogs. We go to the pet store at a mall across town just to play with the puppies. We even signed up to do in home boarding for dogs. So dogs and us are good.
However, one of our dogs, Callie, our 11 year old sheltie, has a problem. Well actually she has several. One, and this isn’t a deal breaker, she has the worst underbite I have ever seen. Her lower teeth jet out and go in multiple directions. Also, since they are out, the air hitting them all the time makes them yellow. So they look a bit narly, but in a cute way. Nothing to make her an ex-puppy.
Secondly, we have a walkout basement that the dogs use. This gives them a direct run to the grass to do their business. Easy enough, right. Wrong! Again, nothing is done easy in this house. This dog brain, when left out for longer then 5 minutes or more, makes her way to the deck. Once on the deck, her mind becomes blank. Yes, the dog has a blonde moment. Apparently, when she steps on the deck it acts like a mind eraser and she forgets there is grass and a yard for her to use. Once on the deck, when she feels the urge to go, she does it on the deck! YUK! And guess who gets to clean these puppy lumps. Yep, me. So every so often, I pull out the wide broom and do my Zambone imitation and clean off the deck. Again, not horrible, just annoying.
Here is the deal breaker. This dog STINKS! Yes, she smells and not just any stink. She smells like a cat box that needs to be scooped. I know it’s in her hair, but we don’t have the time or the money to bath this old dog every week. We tried shaving her last summer and that seemed to help a bit. But the hair is back and oh, she reeks. I feel bad for the other dog, Zoe, because at night they sleep next to each other in their cages. I know dogs have keen sense of smell. So, my bet is Zoe is wishing this dog off the island as well.
Meanwhile, the vet wont let us euthanize her for stink. He says we have to wait for something real. (Real being code for expensive.) Something real like kidney failure or heart problem. You know, something we have to pay a vet until either we run out of money or the dog finally expires which could take years.
It’s at least heart warming that the kids understand. The 10 year old asked, “Well Callie is the oldest, so we will replace her first, right?” And my teenager is already shopping, asking, “Can we get a pappion when Callie is gone.” Oh, the optimism of the young.
I need texmex.
you spelled papillon wrong, dummy.
-mara